Making Memories

I got to put both of my babies to bed tonight... and I cried. The tears were not tears of sadness, despair, fear, or even joy. To be honest, I'm not sure how to categorize these tears-- I guess maybe just love.
Emma has- for quite some time now- been extremely easy to put to bed. We walk in her room and she lunges for her crib with her blanket and Kitty Kitty and snuggles in to her crib as if to say, "Ok, you can go now. I'm good here." Micky and I were so pleasantly surprised when this started a few months ago. And I'm not saying that we don't still enjoy it. But sometimes I just want to hold her, sing to her, rock her-- just feel her warmth against me and breathe her in. Hopefully that doesn't sound too crazy, but the thing I miss most when we leave the girls (for a weekend or just a night with grandparents) is their smell. Just breathing them in calms me and brings an amazing peaceful feeling over me that I can't describe or do justice with words. When you feel it, you just know it. It's love! So tonight I did hold Emma, I did rock her and sing to her and I breathed in her goodness with an even deeper thankfulness in my heart. Because in the room across the hall, my other baby--is no longer a baby. She's grown in to an amazing young lady. And she is who I credit for first teaching me how to love like this. Chloe will always be our drawing board. We learn with her and we try it on Emma. Trust me, we learn plenty from Emma too-- they are by no means one in the same-- what worked for Chloe may not work for Emma, but Chloe will always bear the brunt of being the first. So that means we get to make our "first" mistakes with her!
Chloe was already in bed when I went to kiss her goodnight. With this being such a big night (Kindergarten starts tomorrow), I asked if she'd like me to lay with her and rub her back. She of course said yes, and was asleep in minutes. I stayed there for many more. At first I just stared at her beautiful, sleeping face-- having little trouble recalling what it looked like as a baby-- and I just watched her. Then I started looking around her room. It still has the same blue paint and flower border trim that was on it the day she first came home from the hospital. But it is no longer a baby's room. The crib has long since been replaced by a big girl bed. The knick knacks around the room are no longer things I picked out, but have been replaced by her favorites. Hello Kitty dolls, snow globes, Mickey Mouse ears from her first trip to Disney, tea cups from her first tea party, etc. Not to mention the numerous pictures that she has chosen to have in her room-- pictures with family, Christy, Tyler, Jenn, Jess and at least three with her and "her Nina," a picture of her, me, and Micky the day she was baptized, and Emma's picture from the hospital. And as I lay there looking at all of her treasures, I realized she's already doing what so many of us sometimes forget we're supposed to be doing-- Making Memories.
Micky and I were fortunate enough to get to go for a short weekend trip recently with our great friends Misty & Lee. And in the car on the way to Litchfield Misty and I were laughing about something silly and Lee asked what we were doing and Misty replied, "Oh, just making memories!" I actually paused for a minute when she said that, and I know it's a moment I will never forget!
I hope Chloe and Emma's lives are full of memories made and treasured. I know they're too young now to remember this night when they get older. I don't remember my night before Kindergarten started. But I do remember feeling loved, and feeling secure. I pray that they will too.